Sunday, 13 November 2011

Fluff: I Get Spam

The following arrived in my e-mail spam folder four times in the last 24 hours.

"Please My Dear I Need Your Help.

I know you will be surprise to receive this email, but Before I go further I will like you to understand that, I am writing this mail to you With due respect trust and humanity, I appeal to you to exercise a little patience and read through my letter I feel quite safe dealing with you in this important business, honestly i am writing this email to you with pains, tears and sorrow from my heart, i will really like to have a good relationship with you and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you, i decided to contact you due to the urgency of my present situation here in the refugee camp. My name is Miss. Esther Kipkalya Kones, 25yrs old female and I from Kenya here in Africa; my father was the former Kenyan road Minister. He and Assistant Minister of Home Affairs Lorna Laboso had been on board the Cessna 210, which was headed to Kericho and crashed in a remote area called Kajong'a, in western Kenya. The plane crashed on Tuesday 10th, June, 2008.

After the burial of my beloved father, my stepmother and uncle conspired and sold all my father's properties to an Italian Expertrate which they shared the money they sold from the properties among themselves and live nothing for me. Unfortunately to me I fined my father's briefcase and when I opened it I found a document which my Father used to deposited amount of money in one bank here in Burkina Faso, with my name as the next of kin. I travelled to Burkina Faso here I am, to withdraw the money for a better life so that I can take care of myself and start up a new life and also further my education, when I arrival to the bank, the Bank foreign Operation Department Director whom I meet in person told me that my father instruction to their bank is that the fund would only be release to me when I am married or present a trustee/partner who will help me and invest the fund overseas after the transfer, and the bank ask me to go and look for a foreign partner, that was why  am contacting you, which I believe that you are going to be honest and reliable person that will help me and stand as my trustee/partner, so that I can present you to the Bank for the release and transfer of the inherited fund into your bank account in your country.
     
I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well I will say that my mind convinced me that you will be the true person to help me. Moreover, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me to relocate to your country because my stepmothers have threatened to assinate me. The fund my Father deposited into the bank, is ($8.5 USD) Million United State Dollars, and I have confirmed from the bank here in Burkina Faso, on my arrival, You will also help me to place the fund in a good profitable business venture in your Country, However you will also help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can further my education. It is my intention to compensate you with 40% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. Now my dear as soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest and wiliness to help me, I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to help me and also handle this transaction sincerely. Awaiting your urgent and positive response. Please my dear I want you to keep this as a top secret only to your self for now until the bank will release and transfer my inherited fund to you as my appointed trustee/partner. I beg you once again not to disclose this to any body until i come over your country because I am afraid of my wreaked stepmother who has threatened to kill me and have my inherited fund alone. I thank you very much and am expecting to hear from you soonest.

Yours Sincerely
 Esther Kipkalya Kones."
Well, looks legit to me. Best not tell the Jobcentre though or they'll sanction me for 'not accepting a reasonable job offer'.

2 comments:

  1. http://lartsocial.org/node/3

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  2. There was an interesting Guardian article about this in 2005, Mase:

    "Samuel is 19, handsome, bright, well-dressed and ambitious. He has a special flair for computers. Until he quit the game last year, he was one of Festac's best-known cyber-scam champions.

    Like nearly everyone here, he is desperate to escape the rundown, teeming streets, the grimy buildings. It's the kind of place where plainclothes police prowl the streets extorting bribes and where people paint "This house is not for sale" on their homes, in case someone posing as the owner tries to put it on the market.

    It is where places like the Net Express cybercafe thrive. The atmosphere of silent concentration inside the cafe is absolute, strangely reminiscent of a university library before exams. Except, that is, for the odd guffaw or cheer. The doors are locked from 10.30pm until 7am, so the cyber-thieves can work in peace without fear of armed intruders.

    In this sanctum, Samuel says, he extracted thousands of email addresses, sent off thousands of fraudulent letters, and waited for replies. He thinks disclosure of his surname would risk his safety.

    The email scammers here prefer hitting Americans, whom they see as rich and easy to fool: maghas are avaricious and complicit. To them, the scams - known as 419 after the Nigerian criminal statute against fraud - are a game".

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2005/nov/10/money.scamsandfraud

    I've come across scam job sites in the past - and nearly fell for one. It would be interesting to kknow if anybody has been sanctioned by the Job Centre on account of being misled.

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